The Proclaimers would walk 1000 miles to Florence... and her name was Dani.

Where is the mythical place that the Proclaimers would walk 1000 miles to? For a start the assumptions in the map in the image is wrong. And while mountainous regions would skew the radius of possibility, let me explain why I think her door is in Italy.

I began assuming that her door, where he falls down, would have to be 500 miles from the chunnel exit in France. That's because I'm assuming that walking while on a vehicle (bus/train/car/ferry/aeroplane) is disqualified, as is breaking up the trip using any sort of transport. That means he has to walk through the Channel Tunnel in a vehicle lane.

I initially had started him in Edinburgh and arrived at a possibility that she lived in Plaisance-du-Touch, just outside of Toulouse... because she was pleasant to touch and he had nothing Toulouse.

Except I'd be wrong. Because I assumed they'd have started in Edinburgh. But the single was recorded in what was the Chipping Norton Recording Studios in Oxfordshire, which was in 26/30 New Street, Chipping Norton.

To walk from there to the Eurotunnel car entrance is 143 miles. Here's the Google map to that first walk.

The tunnel trek is 35.4 miles. Here's the Google map link to that second walk.

Once he emerges in Coquelles, France, he then has 821.6 miles to go. And the coolest major city that EXACT distance away is Florence, Italy.

And exactly 821.6 miles away, by walking (Here's the Google map link to that third walk), is:

La Casa di Dani

 ... which is now a B&B (you can see its booking page here). 

I imagine back then it was where Dani lived, a smart Italian girl who would take her grandmother to the nearby San Marco Church and who worked at the Accademia Gallery 13 minutes away, the museum where the statue of David stands.

Of course David is a grand biblical figure who she admired for his courage, and strength, and faith, and determination... so... loverboy Proclaimer had do something singularly impressive to measure up. Hence walking all the way there seemed like a jolly grand thing to do.

And seemingly so did his brother. He was bellowing along that he'd also walk there, so he has questionable motives and as such he gets to go to Bad Brother's Tattoo shop next door.

A nearly but not quite:

Before I found Dani's house in Florence I had found and really wanted it to be Proclamino, a makreting agency, in Gdansk, Poland (address), because of the name of course, but it was out by a bit over 10 miles. But it got me thinking that I needed a more scientific approach. So I scienced my brain and came up with the science of why Florence.

The Science of why Florence:

First I thought that since they're from Scotland, he'd probably want to walk somewhere warmer. So southern Europe, and not Poland. Maybe France or Spain or Italy. I dragged the destination point of my Google map final walking route looking for places that were 821 or 822 miles away by walking. This too into account hilly terrain and roads. I tested southern France, particularly around Carcassonne and Albi, but the distance didn't quite fit. It needed to be a major city because I thought perhaps he met her there while he played a gig - that would require a big city, but at that point I was really just looking for somewhere familiar and plausible, but it had to be the exact distance.

Florence got the nod because it's the exact distance and it's Florence. Admittedly my science is now considerably less scientific. But when Dani's house was there on the map and the Bad Brother's Tattoo shop was next door... it was obvious because -- based on science, psychology to be precise -- because after walking for 1000 miles he'd be super hot and tired, and everybody knows that Florence has nice gelati; perfect after a long walk.

There was a theological element as well. While Dani is a gender-neutral name, it is commonly a female version of Daniel. Of Hebrew origin it means "God will judge." Perhaps the proclamation that he would walk 500 miles and 500 more just to be that man who walked 1000 miles... is something that only God knows whether he'd really do it. 

Yes, everything was conveniently pointing at my extreme correctness.

Seems there was very little science in my sciencing after all. Tralala laaaa.

P.S. I tried to find a female Dani that worked or still works at the and Galleria dell'Accademia Firenze but then thought they might wonder why they're getting all this interest all of a sudden... 

Time for a gelato perhaps.